Snitching Ain't Easy

I have a new student that I'm counseling this spring. Our focus in on his anger management skills. He doesn't have any. When he reaches his boiling point, he becomes belligerent with adults, and has a huge persecution complex. Earlier this week, he had an incident involving two girls in his class. According to him, these girls are targeting him and threatening to hit him. One of the girls hit him with a stick at recess. My student became upset of course, but did not tell any of the recess aides. He went on to class and later another girl pushed him into her friend's desk, causing my student to take out the desk and causing a huge commotion. My student had enough and went to approach her when his teacher recognized what was going on and stepped between them. My student was sent to the office to cool off.

When I saw him he told me what happened. He even told me about getting hit with the stick earlier. I asked him why he didn't report any of this to an adult, and he said that nothing ever happens. The kid is actually quite bright because we discussed the reasons for the girls to keep bothering him. He said that they know he would get into major trouble for hitting a girl. So he knew how the consequences would be worse for him. He felt that he couldn't tell any of the recess aides what happened because they wouldn't do anything. He also that the girl would probably call him a snitch for telling.

This just about made my blood boil. The whole snitching thing bothers me because kids get confused and actually endanger themselves because they don't want to be seen as snitches. It doesn't make sense. I hate how the word has changed in meaning. It used to mean someone who was also a criminal reporting someone else's crime for a reduced punishment. Since when did it mean a victim that reports a crime committed against him or her?

I feel like lecturing everyone in my building about what it means to be a snitch. Endangering yourself in the hopes of not being a snitch is idiotic, and I want to work on changing the understanding of the word. Somehow the misunderstood meaning has become the de facto definition and it has remarkably impacted how kids deal with bullying and violence in school. My hope is that I can change that somehow.

BBC

Angela's Twin?

Today was Alejandro's PPT, but that story will have to wait. First, my day started off at a frenzied pace because I had to talk to one of my students who I see for counseling. Her teacher was concerned because Angela* told her about her twin sister dying in a drowning accident. I doubted that the student ever had a twin so I tread carefully when I spoke. I talked to her about what it meant to have a twin sister. I tried to figure out her timeline, because she kept changing it from having a sister that died at birth to having a sister that died when she was old enough to drown. It was frustrating because I felt like I was dealing with someone who possesses a poor sense of reality. I reasoned with her and I talked about the fact that she didn't have any pictures of herself with her twin, which is something that all twins experience. I asked her if she had any pictures of herself when she was a baby. I pointed out that there were no pictures with her twin. I knew that there was a possibility that she may have had a twin that died at birth and maybe she misunderstood a story. Well, she has many misunderstandings of this magnitude. She also talked about finding out that she was adopted. I wasn't sure how true that was. Apparently I forgot that I meant to call her mom after my morning PPT to ask about the source of these interesting stories. Luckily I was reminded when I walked into the teacher's lounge and had a teacher ask me "What's up with Angela? She has a dead twin sister?" Another teacher remarked, "Oh yeah, didn't she say that last year?" Then another chimed in, "I just saw her telling the nurse about it." Now, I talked to her first thing in the morning, and she was still talking about it hours later. I called her mother and she didn't give me the response I was looking for. I wanted some kind of reaction. Mom told me that the stories weren't true. She mentioned that Angela does want siblings, but there was no basis for her ideas about a twin sister or her adoption. Mom was too calm to me for having heard that her daughter was saying crazy and bizarre things throughout school. She was a little too cavalier about her daughter's ramblings. It was like she had heard it all before.

BBC

School Psychologist vs. Social Worker

I was going to post about something that happened today, but then I remembered something that happened yesterday.

It's one thing to describe what it is that I do exactly in my school, it's another to describe how it's different from what another professional does when the duties tend to overlap. At work, someone asked me what was the difference between a school psychologist and a social worker. I was kind of thrown by that question because a lot of what we do in the building tends to overlap. Everyone knows that when a kid is having a rough time in class it's either me or the social worker that shows up. There are differences: The training is different, I had to go beyond my Master's to get a specialist's degree. Social workers tend to stop at the Master's of Social Work (MSW). My internship existed solely within schools. Social work students complete their internships in schools, hospitals, counseling centers, etc. My training deals more with cognition and behavior and I have more exposure to mental disorders. Social Workers focus more on social aspects of a child's life. They are more experienced in integrating family and school. My social worker is more aware of resources that exist in communities for families than I will ever be. I'm slowly becoming acquainted with the different resources that are available but her knowledge of what is out there is pretty extensive. We both meet with children and provide counseling, her counseling tends to focus more on social skills while my counseling may fall under more cognitive and academic tasks such as changing a child's self-perception, improving their organization skills, and making them more self-aware of their actions in the classroom. Of course, the social worker could work on these skills as well, just as I could work with a child on social skills-those things tend to overlap. Finally I added that I could give IQ tests and I was the only person in the building qualified to do so. That piqued everyone's interest.

Before I knew it I was peppered with requests from the teachers standing around to test their IQs. I told them that I wouldn't do it, and there was nothing they could do to convince me otherwise. I tried to explain how obsessive people can become when it comes to IQ. One teacher was willing to pay me, but I knew that it wasn't worth it. I remember being in my program and trying to find test subjects to practice administering IQ tests. Some people could handle it because they knew that they were just helping me out. Others took it too seriously, even though my methods were flawed back then, making some parts of the test invalid. I also tried to tell them that people can become obsessed with their "weaknesses" and the last thing I want are depressed teachers because they weren't as "smart" as they thought they were. After they kept whining and asking me why I wouldn't do it, one teacher chimed in saying "Jut look at how you're acting now and he hasn't even given you a test yet." That seemed to work for now.

I am thankful for having a knowledgeable social worker, it takes some of the pressure off me from having to know all of the answers. That's a good thing, since I find myself searching for those answers every day.


BBC

Fed Up

These past two days really tested my patience. I volunteered to counsel a girl who has a proclivity to skip class. I took her case because the vice-principal decided that she would need counseling as well as the behavior plan that he designed. She didn't really warm up to me, which was fine, I'm still a stranger in the building. We talked for a little bit and she told me that she wished she could start over. I took this nugget and went with it. I asked her what she meant, and she said that she wished she could start eighth grade over because her grades weren't great. I explained to her that she was getting a second chance now and a fresh start. She told me that she was having a hard time with her school work, social studies in particular. So I had her get her assignment and we sat down and looked at it together. The lesson was on Reconstruction era federal government. There was a question about the 3/5 clause that she had to answer. I practically pointed out the paragraph that she needed to read in order to answer the question. But of course, she refused to read the paragraph and expected me to do all the work for her! When I refused, she asked to leave and I let her. I couldn't believe the nerve of this girl. The look of indignation that she gave me was priceless. I had enough of her attitude so I was happy to have her return to class.

Today, one of the 6th grade boys I worked with rubbed me the wrong way. I really needed his mother to sign a consent form for one of the counseling groups that I run. I purposely went to the school on Monday to specifically give him another consent form to take home. As I went with him to his locker, I saw one of the old consent forms that I had given him a while ago. I made him take that home too. I told him that it was important for him to have his mother sign it. I really needed it. Well, this morning, I saw him and when I asked him for the form, he said that he didn't have it. It wasn't the fact that he didn't have it, it was the cavalier attitude he had about it. He didn't even apologize for not having it. That pushed me over the edge. I can understand not having it, but the fact that he wasn't even sorry about it really pissed me off. This kid really needs to grow up and honor his responsibilities. He needs to understand this now.

BBC