From the Mouths of Babes

Sometimes children are so knowledgeable about their own situation that I wonder if I'm even needed. There are times when I feel like I spend so much time trying to get some children to face reality, and then a child that has it all together walks through the door.

I've known Allie for a while. She was one of my star students whenever I did Second Step lessons in her class. She always had a firm grasp on emotions and could always identify them properly. She was always knew more than her classmates. My sessions started with a phone call from Allie's stepmother. Allie was going to reunite with her estranged biological mother in a few days and the stepmom was concerned that Allie was upset about it.

When I talked to Allie, she basically told me that she hadn't seen her mother in over a year. They were reunited over the weekend and Allie was nervous as the weekend got closer. She was very blunt about her disapproval of her mother. In her words, her mother "lies and can't be trusted." Well, such strong words from an 8 year old. There really wasn't much for me to say, but I did remind her that she still needed to treat her mother with a modicum of respect. I knew that it would be hard, and practically impossible, but it had to be said. What I wanted her to understand is that she couldn't be disrespectful to her mother or her time would have been horrible. She got it, but she still looked like she wasn't going to put up with any b.s.

I talked to her after the weekend, and it sounded like it was a battle of wills. Her mom insisted that she wore certain outfits that she bought for her, and Allie insisted on wearing her own clothes. I think they compromised on the pajamas. She reunited with her other siblings. She complained about sharing a bed with her 5 year old sister. She also complained about not having any privacy. I wanted to tell her, "welcome to having siblings," but I refrained. I think that she had an okay time, but it will be better next time if there is an agreement beforehand about the clothing options.

BBC